Scary Thought

There is inkling scary
Hidden behind the nervous laugh emoji

That maybe
I need these filters to be me
That all those insecurities
I try hide plainly
On TLs, memes, and statusees
And the comments I reflect on thee
Is true actually
Of me
Though I try hide, saying proudly me
Or loving me
It’s kind of scary
But what if I don’t really
Know me

There is something we try bury
Because like the grave it’s quite scary

That maybe
The friendship we
Had drawn from so freely
Now that we walk separately
Was the
Whole thing fraudulently
All bathwater and no baby
Just maybe

There is a thought we bury
Because like closed closets, it’s scary

That maybe
When I forgave without your apology
And I said I set you free
Then i see you and the rise in me
Is that past anger but fury
Maybe in even wrath blindingly
It’s scary
I never forgave truly

There is a consideration scary
Like fate worse than death scary

That maybe
I gave my life to God fully
And I gave gladly
Not just the vices, see
But sacrificially
Of my dreams, my friends, and all of me
And they didn’t just call me
But said you’re doing it wrongly
And then by no wrong done by me
I have no reward for the world to see
Struggling, hands emtpty
Failure to launch, they say of me
And I look to Thee
Did You deceived me
Were they right and I had walked blindly?

Though these thoughts are scary
Let me address fairly

You are not filters and comments
You are God’s missive and sonnet
Friendships part
But this does not mean fraud from start
And has taught lessons to the heart
Neither does it require skewing names with darts
That forgiveness
Is a process
And not endless
Because you feel the heart stress
Don’t discount the progress
Plucking roots leaves a mess

And, Christian, ye
Carry on faithfully
For your trust unquestioningly
And your sincere obediency
Is valued more than jewellery
Like stars in His diadem, brightly
You shine in obscurity
Don’t let this world successfully
Suggest to thee
You have not walked blindly
The fire burns but will not kindle on thee
The waters rise but an Anchor is He
The mountains stand but He bids them leave
And gives you a path to walk freely
A righteous man falls but if on Me He leans
He will endure to sit on My throne with Me

The doubts are scary
But love overcomes fear, perfectly


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