I Could Have Been

Some look back and reminisce

What if that what if this

When they chose Christ, the life they miss
I could have been

The main act on scene

The hottest thing on big screen

But I didn’t sign the dotted line they submitted to me

I gave in to Him rather than do season 3

I gave up the money

And I joined a mission team

To a place obscure and unseen

Only for this letter to come to me

“We need money

They stopped treatment for daddy 

We can’t pay the fee

And they called to say they want you back on screen

Why aren’t you all you could have been 

Come home, can’t you see our need”

And the tears stop me

From being able to see

And I can only fall to my knees

I could have been 

But You called me 

I gave all to Thee

All of me

And now You’re killing Daddy?!

I could have been….
Switch scene 
I could have been

The doctorate

Greatness was my fate

The dream my food and the title my plate

A future as sweet as chocolate 

Till with The Saviour I came face to face

And a secret thirst He did satiate

And what was once sweet now had bitter taste

I desired His love independent of my success rate

His eternal love, compassionate 

At His Word, me heart did race

Now I collapse behind this pulpit

Like if I had life someone pulled it

Cause on this message is writ

“While you are out being an evangelist

Your son is addicted to spirits

Don’t you care that little bit

You preach love but don’t show it

If you had continued your doctorate

We wouldn’t be in this predicament

When God called you, is this what He meant

Instead of the goals and dreams we had set

To these lowly households almost tents

Are we sentenced

We can barely pay the bills and rents

I am your wife but that could be past tense.

Come home and of this let’s make sense”

And from his knees

Comes the plea

“Lord, I could have been

The best doctor on the scene

The biggest star in the theatre of surgery

In suburbia, sitting comfy

But You called me

And I heard Thee

Your words you gave me

And fire kindled within me

I could have been 

The unstoppable dream

But I gave that even willingly

Why do you now take my family

Have I not given enough for Thee…”
Switch scene 
Lord, I could have been married

With at least two seed

But You called Me

And I had to say no to those not yoked to Thee

And now all have ceased to pursue me

Lord, why have you let me stay lonely

Have you forgotten me

Should I take care of me
Switch scene
I could have been

The best athlete

But you gave beauty by putting gospel in my feet

I was your minister in the street

But this stray bullet got me

And now I can’t use my feet 

Stuck in this wheeled seat

LORD, is this how you meet

My submission complete
Switch sce….STOP
There is much we don’t understand 

Is this what He planned?

Was I wrong to follow His command?

I could have been more but now here I stand
I can only tell you of how His hand

In my life has laid a Golden Strand

I have lost much

People in my life death has touched

I actually don’t have much

And in this world, I have no titles and such

My body is so beaten, miracle I don’t use a crutch

And the ladies are not flocking for my touch

I recieve more “no”s and “yes” not as much

This much

I can say in full trust
I could have been

Broken and empty

Lost eternally 

Confident externally

But filled with insecurity

Totally set up materially 

Running from eternity

Peace would be imaginary

Courage would be a fairy

Love a vulnerability

And violence my artillery
I could have been

Everything I wanted to be

And then He called Me

And I am no longer me

For He lives in me

For in love He

Laid down His life for me

And the cross He keeps in view to see

Just how much He loves me

How can I not trust what He wants for me

Even when the wind stormy

All around me is all I see

The more I lose me the more He gains me

And so the more free I am to be me truthfully
I could have been me

But why chase a dream

When there is reality

Of eternity

And through me, you offer to be seen
So when I think of what I could be

Please, remind me

Not who I think you should be

But who You Are

*and this is not to give a magic bullet answer but in a realistic way let someone know they are not alone and that there is hope. God is faithful and good, that’s why you can hold on just a little longer, don’t give in. The promise is nigh*