How It All Started 

I remember how it all started

I was probably 5 that’s all

It was just a Barbie doll

How could that be the beginning of one’s fall

You see

Barbie had big breasts

And a small little dress

And long naked legs

I just wanna see what she looks like naked

Years later God is fighting 

Porn and maturation

The addiction 

Off me again
I remember how it all started 

The adults would go to bed

We awake early mornin’

All the unfinished wine glasses spread

I just wanted to how it tasted

Let time pass

The Lord is not just fighting the wine glass

But these liquid spirits that got a grasp

Saying the next sip will be my last

Because a friend asked

And bought me the sweet poison of an asp
I remember how it all started 

We used to just roll paper and try it

Just plain paper, nothing inside it

Then just trying we justified it

We thought it was cool like dragons

Blowing smoke rings

Now the joints are running

Rings around me

If My Saviour isn’t around me encamping

Fighting off the addiction
I remember how it all started

Too skinny they said

Passing words and they departed

But the words stayed and imparted

A physical insecurity started

A self-loathing God is now battling

From within

And thankfully winning

But when I fail I feel it creep in
I remember how it all started

A toy gun

One

Overheard word

A single text 

A little prideful jest

Just a tune to flex

A bottle forgotten

No compliment gotten

Not all of a sudden 

But blazes have begun

From one spark in the cotton
I remember how it all started

God said, “let Me in”

At my heart, He was knocking 

And when I let Him in

In long-suffering 

He hosted me

God hid me under His healing

Everlasting wing

And shelters me from

Self destructing
It takes more effort

To counter

But His grace is sufficient

He won’t let me flounder

This way and that

If I remember to steer clear of the trap

Of thinking it’s a wrap

He has saved me and that’s that

I have to give Him 

Everything

Every stride in the lap

Until I have run the race

And my prize I see in His face

Ask for His light

And with every stroke fight the good fight
I remember how it all started

And He who began a good work

Not just an eventful burst

Will complete His purpose

As I seek Him first

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