Let me put it like this:
If you made it to heaven. The pearl gates open and you are marching in with the saints.
The air you are breathing is crisper and fresher than you have ever breathed. The streets of gold touch your feet and strangely feels like a perfect carpet of sand under your feet.
The wind caresses you, unlike any mountain zephyr on earth ever had. And as you approach the throne, the singing sends shivers (that feel more like a massage) through your body. You are smiling from ear to ear. But something is not quite right.
All the saints are gathered at the throne of God and stare in awe as a figure steps out from under the glory that surrounds the presence of God.
The angel does not have an expression on their face that matches yours. He actually looks solemn. And as he explains you realise why.
He relays that the plan of salvation actually required that as soon as we made it to heaven, The Son of God had to eternally forfeit His place in heaven so that we could live. And that this was why this whole time, we had not seen Jesus or why He had not run out to receive us into the city. In short, we would never get to see Jesus.
Now, THINK! How would that make you react?
Not that this will ever happen. The Bible says the Son of God will be the light in the new earth, so He will be there.
But what does your reaction say? What does that tell you about what you are actually pursuing in your walk with Christ?
I now knew, after my walking away, that my pursuit was not heaven. Or just to escape hell.
But I really just wanted to spend eternity with My Friend, LORD, And Saviour. And that is still my aim.
To represent Christ.