…Sometimes Rav4s Are Blue

So it took God a week to make the earth.
But it took me a lot longer to realize my worth.

If I was there on day one when God said “Let there be light.”
I was told the light would have skipped me and made a sharp right.

The destiny of a demon is what they gave me
But I just kinda laughed it off for my own safety.

….Or maybe it was for comfort of their own.
Me, an excuse for their choice to heaven blown.
Day one, come and gone.

But it was not my fault, this destiny tagged on me.
You try separating the clouds from the sea.

When all that you can see, see, see
Is the bottom of the deep blue me, me, me

It’s all the same water so what is the point really,
Of separating what is earthly and what is heavenly?

The deep closes in and the clouds are misty.
At the end of the day, I cant see.

Yep, that is day two… Chaos
Blind as Bartimaeus.

Like I said, it was not my fault.
I lived to be seen but who knew what for, like Alt.

Nobody could see the past of deep blue me.
Only on the surface did I seem free.

I learnt to bring others down in the deep.
Or to embrace others on a high so I could drop them at my feet.

So it was. Whispers and shouts
Up and down, up and down.
On the edge between ecstasy and the big drown.

That was day was the third….

So I thought before He sent His word.
The deep shook violently
Like a caged wolverine
Rabid and frothing on the surface
Like the heart of the earth took race
Responding to spoken word
Of the familiar, The Creator
Did not the deep fight?
What is the point of wrong and right?
Remember, you deserve no light!
It’s not your fault, this deep.
But here you are strong, not weak
But if they see under the deep blue
What will they think of you?
In this fault you had no voice!
In this demon destiny, you have no choice!
But the Word spoke.
And the land awoke.
The deep, it broke.
No longer to cloak
What was obvious to note.

The cracks and plain slabs.
The stretches of dry scabs.
Obvious pain from words past.
Hidden clefts of secrets put on blast.
It’s too much to bear or tend
Let me go back to then
But then the Word spoke again

The cracks were soothed with grass
The valleys now let streams pass

Streams of living waters the Word said
Once a barren wasteland and dead

A beautiful garden to see
Now that was the end of day three.

Day three, the day He rose from the grave
Arose from the betrayal, sin-bearing, and shame
And from then on, I have never been the same

For what used to be greed, dark and deep
Now lights were placed high to be the lamp to my feet.
And so day four, great lights shine whether it be day or time to sleep.

It’s like the tree that was given a year to grow.
Oh, yes. He told the story long ago.

Everyone had given up on fruit on this one tree.
Why does it cumber the ground, no fruit for these years, three.

Then He spoke the words, let me take care of him
Let me dig up the earth and take away his sin.

And if he bear not fruit, well…. give him the cut and have no part in You
But if he bear fruit, well…. take away his demonic destiny and eternal life imbue.

It’s been a year.
And even though the creation is still going on. Two days past day two.
Since He started day one, till day seven of rest he will take me through.
Because, just like the tree He hung on, He saw fruits in me bloom.
That even though this world usually is dark, fast and ugly, like a car I know too.
Like Christ makes me the exception…. Sometimes Rav4s are blue.

*so this was a poem I wrote for a friend. He had just been in a saving relationship with Christ for a year and the day before we were talking about a challenge he was facing and he zoned out on me. Mid-convo! So I decided to say something random and make him agree. So I said in a serious tone, “sometimes Rav4s are blue, you know.” And just as I expected, he agreed. I laughed and he only realised what had happened when I told him what I just said. He laughed.

Christ is still building him. He is still building us all.*

rav_4_by_roirouge

Picture Credit: rav 4 by roirouge via DevaintArt

Advertisements

You Won’t Believe

* This is an old message I wrote with minor tweaks. So if things seem outdated, it is because they are. Dedicated to my older brother who passed away 28th March in about  2010 or ’09*

South Africa hosted the World Cup. Yep, it actually happened and no one died by Tsotsi (as far as I know)….

The only death was that of Bafana Bafana. Knocked out at the group stages… I know, first time in history that the host got knocked out at that stage. Speaking of knock outs, Shakira sang the official World Cup song for South Africa. I know! She has nothing to do with South Africa! (well, at least she is not the first person who comes to mind when you mention South Africa). But a good song, no doubt.

Manchester United lost the Premier League the season you stopped watching. Oh and Sir Alex retired…. No not in that exact order. OooO and Giggs became manager for a bit to replace…..a mistake. Oh and we bought Robin Van Persie…. I kid you not!

Speaking of kids, I hope you like the title uncle because your cousins have been getting busy and your close friend Kuge too, YES, Kuge! And speaking of busy….(well, not that kinda busy)…. our brother is working on an engineering degree….. in Namibia! Our sister is in UK and they still have medical records of hers from when we were there, complete with house number and all!

Speaking of stalkers, Facebook is still free and is still alive and well. But people in Malawi caught on to instant messengers. Yeah, like Mxit… but better.

America voted in a black president, twice! (granted it was the same guy). White house is still white (paint wise).

Speaking of white, Eminem made a comeback. And while we are on music…. MJ died. Whitney too. So did Nate Dogg. Snoop Dogg & Warren G survived.

Mum and Dad survived India…. Unlike you. Actually it was more Malawi that couldn’t make you survive.

Dad is a cancer survivor. (I did say this was an old message)

Me?! Well…. I…. What is there to say about me? I came back form the Zain Africa Challenge, we didn’t win. Far from it….

Yeah….. Oh, that you can believe really easily, huh?

Speaking of believe, I went back to Jesus. I know….. I am just as surprised as you. But I am more surprised at the fact that He accepted me. I know, you thought that I was the good boy gone bad for good, didn’t you? What makes it different this time?

Hhhmmm…. This time it’s not about me trying to get into God’s good books by my own actions, it is not about wearing a burden.

It is a relationship. I know I don’t believe it…. I can actually talk like that, It sounds grown up.

Speaking of growing up. I found out that growing up isn’t easy, it is necessary but we don’t grow instantly. But if God is able to sustain this world that He created with His very word from second to second, than He can sustain me and every other person who believes in Him from second to second, moment by moment.

scan0001

You won’t believe it but I found God… and I tried to make you fill that hole in me at some point but it was actually filled by God.

You won’t believe it but, it is not about me and that’s exactly where I trust life should work.

You won’t believe it but I can smile.

 

 

 

 

*I don’t believe in talking to the dead. I believe in what the Bible teaches about the dead. But if I was to have a conversation with my older brother I think this is what it would sound like on my end. And I am able to share my little bit, I hope you find courage to share your testimony in song, pain, jokes and all….. We have this hope that we will see them again. For the dead in Christ shall rise first. (Read 1Thessalonians 4:13-18) *

Full Circle

*Seen from what Elizabeth Gilbert said at TED about creativity (if you have not seen it Here you go).Which, I must say, she was brave to say*

In all aspects of life on earth as we know it, whether it be in creativity, logic, or law, people are beginning to realise we can’t be the centre. People are beginning to realise again, whether in emotion or in reason, that there is an Ultimate. And we (just like those before our time) try to give it a name. Because in our own roundabout way, as we dig deeper into what we thought had been hidden from us in the beginning, we have come full circle and now could end up in the place where we understand when it was said: I AM THAT IAM.

No, we may not fully understand God but that does not mean that we should stop digging. For He says:

Come now, let us reason together…. Though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be white as snow; though they be red as crimson (like our limited understanding through which we now dimly see this world) they shall be as wool.

Maybe not completely clear but certainly purer and softer. Afterall, if truth is truth it will stand up to remain truth even when questioned. Actually, it will turn out to be more true. And if you have no predetermined bias against the supernatural, you come down to the conclusion that we are NOT the centre and that there is an Intelligent Creator who we mimic in different ways despite the evil that has corrupted our propensities.

No, don’t get me wrong, we still need faith. We won’t be able to explain everything or answer every question, and that is where firm, grounded faith and trust is needed. But best believe when it comes to the essentials and purpose of our lives we will come full circle to God.

The reason why we may deny that is because we don’t like having God alive and well and involved. We don’t like that because with even just the realisation that God exists, our lives MUST change.

More Than Meets (The Last)

The hazel eyes lit up and a smile played across his face. A smile that seemed to lift his already tall figure. As he said.

“Because I love you.”

The wind whipped up around them, whistling through the silent bystanders. Playing on his twisted hair and making his torn clothes come alive.

“And it is only at my feet that these chains can sing. I bear them gladly for you. Yet, you seem to want to take these chains on yourself, when I already took on these chains moment by moment. You don’t have to walk alone. I am here.”

“Why me?”

“Exactly! Why her! She is not worth it! She must bear her own burden, give her back the chains she deserves and let her walk home like she wants! Set her free like the last guy did! Let her go!”

Though the words stung, she did not even glance back at the figure she was once drawn to.

“Why do you love me. Why me? Even with all these chains….”

“You are so much more than what meets the eyes. Your entire walk is more than meets the eyes. You may not see it all now. But if you will let me I can walk you home and on the way we can talk, and I will show you as much as I can. If you will open your ears and heart and look past what meets your eyes. And I only need one thing from you.”

“Ummm….. that’s….. that’s okay….What must I do?”

“Begin with me.”

*Sometimes this is how we see God. Others have told us to fear him and run form him as they do. He is sometimes presented as a super bully. He is sometimes presented as an all powerful crazy, old, wild-eyed man in the sky. He is presented as someone who just stood by in the hard times. Yet if you listen to the words (even in this story) He never did tell a lie or sugar coat, or start mocking anyone and calling them names. Its in the words. The difference is in the words. Our supposed rescuers will switch on us real quick. Leave us to walk alone. Sometimes lure us in by a false show of strength, mocking others, or flattering us. Then when that does not work they may just flat out lie or turn on us.

There are also times when, like this story, we don’t understand why. We don’t understand how someone can come to God. Why God wants to save us all from the darkness which we have seen. Some darkness of our own making, some darkness in the hearts of others.

Sometimes we don’t understand why or the method in which God calls some people….. Kinda like how this story goes from reality to abstract.

And yes, sometimes you may feel like you walked alone through a lot. Or you may see a lot of pain. But you have to look beyond what the eyes can see to what God sees in you when He died for you. And there is someone who wants to walk with you and bore all the weight already. The man Christ Jesus. (1Timothy 2:1-5)

But in the end its all about with whom you begin (Matthew 6:33)…. Or begin again.*

More Than Meets (5)

The chains around his ankles started to shake. They vibrated like wind chimes under the master musical guidance of the wind.

“I said you don’t have to walk alone. Do you have any idea where to begin? You start right where you are and open your ears and listen.” He tilted his head quizzically. “Test my next words and then you may leave if you like. These words are for you.”

She looked over her shoulder at her supposed rescuer. He had a hard look on his face.

“Lady, don’t listen to him. Look at his torn clothes. Can someone who smells like a clay pot say anything of use?”

Her curiosity got the better of her. She nodded for the shackled man to continue.

His feet did not really move, except for his toes. The melodic chimes carried through the wind and soothed the feeling of anxiety she had. She did not understand why. Then the chimes faded away. And his voice hit her heart.

“For every time you were hurt. For every time you shed a tear. For every time you were supposed to be cared for. For every time you had to fight. One was added. Each time you felt you had to lie. Each time you felt you did not have enough and wanted what others had. Each time you felt the need to trample on others. One was added. Every time you felt the need for vengeance bearing down on your heart. Every time you felt lonely. Every time there was pain. Every time you were scared or scarred. One was added. The times you were mourning. The times you felt empty. The time you were betrayed.

These chains. These chains are made up of each of those moments. Links in your life. The life which you have been living from sunset to sunset. Moment by moment. You felt like there was a weight you did bear on your feet. These chains! These chains! These are your chains.

They look down on me because of these chains. Yet, I bear them gladly.”

She looked down at his ankles. The chains were thick and yet it was only then that she realised that each of those links were dead weight, yet she could see her moments of life in each of those links. Tears, anger, shame, loneliness……

“No! No! Don’t listen to him. It’s all trickery. He doesn’t know you like that! ….. Don’t be stupid. Just go home. I mean let me take you home! Listen to me. Look at his clothes! So what if he wears chains?”

“Why?”

She now asked that same question with another tone in her voice.

“Why do you bear those chains gladly?”

Collosus

More Than Meets (4)

“How do you know all this?”, the tears welled up in her eyes.

“It is not your fault. He was supposed to take care of you.”

“No! Who are you!” She sounded as crazy as he looked but she couldn’t…. wouldn’t stop herself.

“Who do you think you are!? Who told you!?”

He looked up at her.

“I was there.” Came the calm deep response.

There was silence. The kind of silence that comes before a storm.

“Why!?”, she stepped toward him now.

“You were there and you didn’t do anything? You were there and you just watched!? What was it some kind of show for you!? Why didn’t you do anything!? Why!? Huh!?”. Her lip quivered uncontrollably.

“Why!…… Why!…. Why…..me?” She whispered the last word, bearing down on the shackled man.

He stood to his full height. But at this moment she did not care if he got upset.

“It is not your fault. He was supposed to take care of you.”

“What about you? Why didn’t you take care of me?”

“Do you have any idea where to begin?”

He asked the question as if it was an answer.

This time she found the voice a little annoying.

“Yeah! You tell him! Tell him to get lost and let’s go. You are smarter than to let him trick you with drawing squares in the ground. Hey! Retard. Do you think this is art class!? She is a free, fly lady.”

Her mind was brought back through time to the present. Past the time when her father just stopped coming to her room at all, just after the uncle… whatever-thing. Past all the guilt she had buried in growing up. Past all the shame and confusion. Past all the names she was called…. Past all the compliments they suddenly started to give her. Past all the men that had tried to fill her life. All the men she had tried to fit in to her life. Past the successful academics, and career that had her now in a place where she could stand proudly on her own two feet. On her own two, not-so-perfect-but-fine feet. On her own two feet and on an empty heart.

Yes, she was a free lady. She did not have to stay here and listen to this… man dig up things he probably did not even understand himself. So what if he knew the name. Honeycane was so long ago, somewhere in the deservedly buried past. She finally blinked and stepped back. She could turn and walk away. But then, that is when he started.

More Than Meets (3)

“He was only supposed to take care of you.”

“What?”

“No. He was supposed to take care of you, it is not your fault.”

She was confused now.

“Hey! You retard! She is not yours to have. She does not want anything to do with you! Stop pestering her.”

A few bystanders chimed in their agreement. Which built his confidence to speak.

“She wants to go home! Just let her go! You have no business getting your filth on her at all. Actually you shouldn’t even be allowed to look at her!

The bystanders got a little more vocal. A smile came on his face now.

“As a matter of fact you….!”

The sound alone, interrupted him. The chains shook violently as the foot came crashing down to the earth. But now that she looked at him by her side, the only evidence that he had moved at all was the impression that his foot left in the ground where he had stomped everyone into silence.

And while she could still hear the chains ringing in her ears, through the silence, came the words.

“It is not your fault. He was supposed to take care of you, Honeycane.”

The shackled man knelt down and started to write on the ground.

She hadn’t heard that name for so long. Her mother’s smile flashed before her eyes. Memories of her childhood. Of warm cooked meals, of a once sweet voice, of gentle hands clasped in prayer. Of a tombstone.

“Hey! Now is your chance! Get away from this, shackled, crazy, retard of a man and let’s go.”

She saw the man who had tried to rescue her. He was beckoning to her. His voice had confidence in it and his arms were strong. She knew that if she just got to those arms she could be whisked away. She was drawn to him. Her feet started to move. An unexciting way to end this episode. But how did this man know the name Honeycane?

She couldn’t help but look down to see what he was writing on the ground. Just look and leave.

But as soon as she looked down, she was rooted to the spot. He wasn’t writing, he was drawing. She recognised it. It was drawn exactly how she remembered it… Or how she tried to forget it. The two small panes. Two small panes, with cracks in the left pane. The dim light seeping into the window panes as she looked outside….. Trying to forget…. Trying to make sense of it. Wishing her body away, soaring out the window to anywhere but in that room. Wishing for those cracks to finally give way and for broken glass to come and take her away. Wishing that he would stop. Wishing that he would realise that she was not her mother. How could she be, at only ten years of age? But he kept coming to her room…. Putting her in positions she knew a father was not supposed to. She remembered thinking that it was the only way her father could stay as strong as he did after laying his wife in the ground. Maybe he had forgotten that mum was gone. But how could he forget continuously for three years? It was the time that he invited uncle into her room as well…. And the window was no longer enough to keep her sanity….

The shackled man looked up from the ground, taking his finger off the crack in the window pane.

“I am sorry for startling you. But do you have any idea where to begin?”