Do you remember the times you watched those fairytales? The tower, the dragon, the princess and with a little pinch of magic.
And then there were the bedtime stories that were read out loud to lull you to sleep. The kings, the queens, the witches and sorcerers fall to the fairies and Prince Charming. Prince Charming…. That idiot Prince Charming.
When you were learning from the beautiful princesses I was there too. While you were wisked away from the tower to live happily ever after. I was there.
As you shaped role models of sweet, slim, smart ladies. You learned to be kind, to smile, that a village could love their
fair princess, to choose who you want to be with, to sing when the music played…
Okay, maybe that singing part was only in Disney but,,, yeah. You almost forgot that little boy in the room.
Who did I learn from?… Thats right! Prince Charming. So here is what I learned.
He taught me that I had to own a horse. Of course I couldn’t get the horse so I got into cars. To the point of obsession. He did not teach me that the noble steed can sometimes take the place of the princess in my heart.
He taught me that I had to own a shining set of armour and a matching shield. All polished so I looked cool when I reflected the light of the rising sun when I defeated the dragon. Seeing as it is hard to find shining armour these days (short of robbing a museum) I found armour of my own.
My pride deflects any thought that I could be wrong. My stories make sure to dazzle. My muscles make sure to intimidate. He never taught me that armour is very heavy to wear, especially when going up a tower. That in trying to defend myself I would feel nothing, that the princess would want to take it off to see me.
He taught me to carry a sword to slay ghouls, to defeat dragons. To swing it at anything that was a threat. But just my luck, I could find no swords on sale. So out came my anger, my temper, my jealousy and the ultimate weapon “coz I said so”. He never taught me that the princess could be hurt by the very same sword I had made to rescue her, protect her. He never taught me to use it with skill, just to wave it around and get rid of the
problem. Maybe compare sizes with other princes.
Speaking of which. Prince Charming never told me that I might actually meet other princes, trying to win the same princess. And so sometimes it becomes more like a sport and once we get to the top of the tower we kind of forget that the princess did not think this was a sport to begin with. But here we go, on to the next tower to conquer. Tower after tower leaving the princesses abandoned.
And that dragon. I was taught that if I defeat the dragon, the princess was as good as mine. I wasnt taught that the princess does not need the dragon to be killed right away, that she would rather have someone just be there to tell her that the dragon was just full of smoke.
So sometimes I try to solve the problem forgetting who’s hand I am supposed to hold.
He taught me that I had to be tall, square jawed, smooth handed, kissable, and have blue eyes (green at the least). Where in the world of black Africa?!?……Ahhh. But I was smart. I just put on more armour.
He taught me how to use muscle and maybe my head occasionally. He never taught me to ask for help.
He taught me how to smooth talk my way to the heart. He never taught me how to hold on to that heart once I got in.
I was taught that the princess does not say no. If she says no, there is something wrong with me. So sometimes I
would rather not commit to anything and avoid the rejection. Maybe climb a smaller tower. Like friends with benefits.
That a princess worth the effort takes time to save or even find, I had no idea.
Yes, he taught me that I should think she is worth fighting for but he never died in any of his endavours so he never taught me that I should also know she is worth dying for. I only know one Prince who did that….. But that would mean having to open the Bible.
So why not just switch teachers, you ask? Well, why change teachers when Prince Charming is the one the princess is looking for?
This is not an excuse for why men behave the way we do. This is an appeal to understand why we all seem to be getting colder. What we teach the young ones from screen and fantasy has to go much deeper when the eyes come off the screens and the heads out of the pages.
In real life the characters became more real. The towers become emotional towers, the dragons become life dilemmas, the princess took off her royal robes and crown and became more like you, even more valuable than any fictional princess.